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If you are not actively working to build a safe emotional space, than you are probably building an unsafe one.

A colleague of mine who is known for his wisdom as an educator in Los Angeles defines an abusive relationship in the following way.

He suggests that an abusive relationship is one in which one person is afraid to express his or her feelings and opinions.

Needless to say, an abusive relationship is one where there is no trust.

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Trust is something that can be cultivated and nurtured if you will follow the guidelines below.

It's very hard to distrust someone who seems to constantly be going out of his way to please you!

Being a good listener means you don't interrupt your spouse. A simple tool to use for this is the well known "mirroring technique." You reflect back what the other person has said.

It may sound a bit contrived but, believe me, it really works.

This requires that a husband and wife develop good problem solving skills.

I can't tell you how many couples I've worked with whose problems are rooted in a lack of problem solving skills.

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